remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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