I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
