I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
