This house was built for laser tag.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
