Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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