I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
