I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
