it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize