he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
