Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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