By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
