Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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