How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize