Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize