There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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