i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
"it" just moved
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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