Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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