my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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