I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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