I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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