Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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