Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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