I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize