Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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