i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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