I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
