Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.