Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen