Can i not drive my cunt home
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.