We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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