I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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