Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
