i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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