i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
