tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
