escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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