hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
