ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.