Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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