yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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