he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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