My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
