so that wasnt chicken after all
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
