I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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