Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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