I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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