If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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