It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
