I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
