You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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