I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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