sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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