At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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