butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize