I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize