the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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