What a fucking waste of an outfit
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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