I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
