i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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