No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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