I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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