i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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